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[personal profile] steverogers_awakening


I think about you all the time. I worry. I worry constantly. I wonder--do I have it in me to try to make you come home? Or at least to try to make you take shelter somewhere where I know you're okay?

I've started so many entries to you, doing just that. Using emotional blackmail. I'm pretty sure I know the words I could use to force your hand, but I always end up deleting them again. It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't be right, and I wouldn't ever be able to look myself in the eyes again.

But I'd know you were safe. Maybe knowing you're safe is worth becoming the kind of person I can't respect.

And maybe if I said any of this for real, I would have already crossed that line.


Be safe.




It's my fault, anyway.

Date: 2016-05-21 02:44 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming
I need to be okay before I come home. I need to make sure you're safe from me.

ok

Date: 2016-05-21 02:58 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

Found out I'm good at hiding.

Date: 2016-05-21 03:05 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

I haven't given up on you. Don't ever say that.

Date: 2016-05-21 03:13 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

If I wanted to break up with you, I wouldn't pretend to have a fucking nervous breakdown to do it. I'm the Winter Soldier. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out if it's true or I'm just going crazy. I really don't think I am, but I don't know how to explain it. I also don't know if I can be trusted not to hurt someone, even you.

Date: 2016-05-21 03:21 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

What kind of help is there for this? Go somewhere with straitjackets, where I can be contained? I'm not being imprisoned again.

Date: 2016-05-21 03:25 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

What is she going to say? "How do you feel about being a brainwashed killing machine?" 

Date: 2016-05-21 03:28 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

No, she'll be calling the guys with the butterfly nets.

Date: 2016-05-21 03:32 am (UTC)
winterscoming: (Default)
From: [personal profile] winterscoming

Did you say that on purpose?

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steverogers_awakening: (Default)
Steve Rogers

June 2016

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